I need a holiday

After several type of quarell lah or maybe ketidak puasan hati yg tersimpan lama ofkoz cepat marah2 mcm kurang kasih sayang gitu tuh... ahaks..but we do or shall i say i do learn from the lessons..

ermmm.. sometimes kan terfikir "kenapalah Allah begitu menguji diri ini"... ofkoz tiada jawapan kans.. but deep inside still believe that.. "Allah tak uji org yg tidak mampu utk menanggungnya".. aminn semoga me my self diberi lebih kesabaran n even diberi kekuatan also utk menempuhi hari2..

This week suppose become single parent for me.. have to take care anak2.. mcm look into it pulak dah rasanya coz we can do what ever we love n wanted.. entah kenapa seakan ada gap between us sekian lama.. tidak pernah cuba baiki or consider like tikus membaiki labu... or i'm the one yg tanak baiki.. yelah untuk apa?? i dont have the answer sebenarnya.. Just lalui kehidupan seadanya.. with anak2..

i need a holiday for my self sebenarnya... i'm going thru this year with not so good... both Jan n Feb full of gloomy day for me... so i just need to pamper myself as a rewards..

have a happy holidays u ols..

cheers

the ramblings...

After a long time tak do posting n publish to orng lain.. just teringat nak do another account of blogging.. maybe 2012 i want to start all over my novel *after a few years*..start my blogging world again...entahlah.. sometimes dah rasa ok n nak hantar to any of publisher but still ada gaks nak tukaq tu... tak pernah nak cukup kans.. anw, this year i've started with lost of sumthing yg very closed to me.. sigh... entahlah the decision tu sebenarnya melukakan also as a mother.. but instead of that.. i think its a time to move on.. coz as a time being running out.. still tak ada rasa perubahan... still i thank u someone yg always there for me.. i've been not do fbing.. keep on my loneliness to by myself... maybe some of my 'frens' did asking what happened to me kan.. but just want to be alone mcm tu...let it get it off from me... Alhamdulillah.. i'm much more better now instead of mengalami kemurungan.. *thanks again for u*.. On 2nd note sebab nak ingatkan tarikh ne.. on 3rd of February, 2012.. ive lost my beloved Abah to be.. haha gila kan meks ne.. *tapi deep inside i do* and i still do feel that tak sempat cium tangan as seorang daughter to be.. *sob sob*i know yg mengalami lebih terasa kehilangannya.. but apa kurangnya meks...Did u know that???? dunno how to xplain but i hope dia akan lebih tabah.. the times when we are not ever have a chances to get to be closer or even to contact is such a hard time also to us.. but im glad that he's still stay beside me.. its such a tough time to us also.. After going thru also we still have a misunderstanding to each others.. i'm become more sensitif with everythings.. i'm such a very bad girl.. i think so..coz im more thinking of myself..not even think about his side..sigh.. im glad that he such a someone yg diberi kesabaran for my anger.. i hope he still be by my side going thru all the years coming up.. amin... ohh i'm still havent start of my puasa for a week.. coz im making a some sort of nazar.. insyaAllah jika diberi kesihatan nak siapkan the puasa tuh.. cheers...